I want to have your abortion
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
