her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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