I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
