jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
