at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
