great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize