No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
