So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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