Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
