If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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