hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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