make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
