can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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