Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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