apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
