One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
