the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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