Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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