Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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