I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
