They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
