Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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