You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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