He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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