This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize