You're completely useless in the revolution.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
