Sry I called you an 8
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
