I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
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