the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
