I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
