they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize