My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
