On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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