Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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