Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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