all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
