He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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