he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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