We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
