I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
