I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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