you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
