beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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