Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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