Don't you send me to vm
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
