I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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