Quick, to the slutcave!
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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