Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
