If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
