His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
