This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
