So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
