The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
