her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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