What a fucking waste of an outfit
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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