I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
