He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
