just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I did not marry a roomba.
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