we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
