I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
