garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
