party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
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