I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
