Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
