I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize