You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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