i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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