I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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