She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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