Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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