well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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