My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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