If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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