Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
