Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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