my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
